Born in Colombia and adopted by a white family from the Midwest as a newborn, my life has been a continuous quest to discover the truth of who I am.
Heavy, right?
I didn’t know my birth parents, or much about my culture for that matter, so I grew up having to rely on my inner knowing to guide me. I got pretty good at it as I marched to the beat of my own drum as a kid.
The more I felt like I was on the right path to being more true to myself, the more resistance I seemed to garner from other people. I asked a lot of questions. I spoke up in class. I wore clothes that were bright, bold, and glittery. My parents were often asked, “How could this brown girl be so confident at such a young age?”
All the questioning of my boldness started taking a toll. My life turned into an everlasting fight to be seen and heard. A confident little girl is cute, but a self-assured woman is dangerous. I didn’t want to fight, so I gave way to an easier path—specifically, one of people-pleasing. My people-pleasing overtook my desire for authentic self-expression.
I hid behind a lot of things. I worked long hours at corporate jobs I hated. I centered men’s opinions of me. I put my family’s needs above my own. I had lost myself. I was desperate to find her again. My wake-up call came in the form of a suicide attempt.
It wasn’t pretty.
Creating healed me.
Throughout my healing process, there was one place that gave me the freedom and safety to explore my self-expression: storytelling.
From writing my own stories teeming with creative character plots to reading stories in mountains of books that I would sift through for hours, I found pieces of myself hidden throughout the words on the pages. I started to heal as I learned more about myself through the narratives I wrote as a storyteller and the resonance of other people’s stories through their storytelling. I created a dope fantasy world that gave me the safety to explore my inner thoughts without judgment.
But during my exploration, I realized that I wasn’t searching to figure out who I was.
The primary question I wanted an answer to was, "What do I have to do to be loved for who I am?"
Woof.
As I dove deeper into that discovery, I encountered a sobering knowing that the rejection I felt from other people was a mirror of the lack of acceptance and permission I was giving myself to be who I was.
Double woof.
So I did everything I could to remember the truth of who I am and nurture the parts of me I had rejected. I spoke to those parts that were difficult to love. I journaled daily. I went to talk therapy. I tried somatic therapy. I got monthly energy healings. I did hypnotherapy to rewire my brain. I changed my diet. I changed my exercise routine. I had hard conversations with people. I set agreements, boundaries, and limits. I got my natal chart read. I got my human design chart read. I got tarot readings. I walked everywhere in an attempt to spend more time with myself. I stumbled throughout the process. Hard and often.
Slowly, I began to not only love the parts of me I had abandoned, but I cultivated a deep appreciation for myself. I showed up for myself. My vision of the world changed. Instead of it being a big, scary landmine, I now saw the world as a place to explore the endless expression of love.
Really, I told everyone to fuck off because I like who I am.
And because I no longer felt the insurmountable pressure to hide who I was, I started to share my stories with the world. For instance:
I started a super cool podcast that acted as a collection of engaging interviews and solo reflections on what it means to be well.
I’ve written 2 books, with another one on the way.
I’m exploring videography and poem writing on social media.
This brings me to you.
My stories are here to serve. My work is built on a foundation of love, an unrelenting passion for all the love we can experience in this lifetime, and a commitment to be an unstoppable force for endless love and compassion.
I use my art as a way to set the stage for future generations to pass on the art of storytelling. To help you own your story and all that comes with it. To ask more questions about the world around us so that you can create the life that you want to live that’s true and honest. A life that’s rooted in freedom and liberation.
Let’s be clear: I’m in no way completely healed or without flaws. I continue to learn about myself and the world, which I share through what I create.
But my commitment to you (and myself) is to do my best.
If you’ve made it this far, I hope this is just the beginning of our journey together. I’d love to get to know you better and the best way to do that is by emailing me at kayla@kaylanedza.com. Tell me what you’re working through right now or tell me which episode of The Game is your favorite.
Thank you for being here friend.
Xo.
Kayla
Sports.
I played soccer, softball, and basketball as a kid. I identify as a free agent and cheer for no specific teams, but my fave athlete is Briana Scurry.
Fashion.
In the colder months, you’ll find me in all black. In the warmer months, I’m in some bright multicolored sun dress. I’m also team #degenderfashion.
Astrology.
I’m a Cancer sun, Scorpio moon & rising with a Capricorn North Node. Basically, watery af.
Liberation.
I root all of what I do in the liberation of Black and Indigenous women, femmes, and gender-fluid folks. Period.
Minimalism.
I’m big into intentional living and being more conscious about my belongings. I like to do more with less.
Adoption.
I was adopted as an infant from Colombia. I’m a mentor for girls looking for support in navigating the challenges of interracial adoption.